I am Coulrophobic

I do have a few phobias. However, the worst one is my utter fear of clowns. I have a fear of clowns since I was little. I hated that big stupid red nose and stupid pointy side hairs. I don’t mind Krusty the clown from the Simpsons, but it is a cartoon. So who cares. I just can’t stand toy clowns or real clowns. Especially that stupid Ronald McDonald; he scares the living crap out of me.

I will explain how I developed this fear. Since I was little I was spoiled silly with various types of dolls and plush toys. So I was well rounded. As a new school year started, my mother would put away all our toys in boxes or in the closet.

I remember my closet as it is right in front of me now. It had two sides that open up. Dark cherry brown colored. When you open one side, at the top there is a pole where you hang the clothes, and at the bottom little drawers. The other side when you opened it had a bit of large space in the middle and just drawers. In that large space is where my mom used to put all the toys.

I never had a problem with clowns. However, when I was little I used to love watching horror movies. My brother is almost 5 years older than me, and he loved it too. I watched it out of curiosity. How many children have seen Child’s Play and Nightmare on Elm Street before going to bed? (Raising my hand!)

So one night, my brother kept telling me, “that clown toy in your closet that mom put will come out and kill you.” (Boys!) I was scared. So every night I would open my closet before I slept to make sure the clown was still there and not alive. Just a dead lifeless toy. (I was 6 at the time).

Night after night, it became a routine check up. As a child I didn’t know any better, and I believed scary movies, and my annoying older brother too!

So one night, out of fear and the routine check up, I had a nightmare that woke me in the middle of the night breathing heavily. I dreamt that the clown only got out of the closet past mid night and that’s when it carried the knife!

From that day, from my childish fears, I kept hating clowns. I never ever bought one or ever thought they were humorous in any way. Clowns are ugly, stupid, and people who dress like one are just plain stupid! Clowns scare kids and not make them laugh. Making stupid balloon animals and having that stupid painted smiley face drawn on the clown face is not funny!

Damn I hate clowns.. and now they make stupid movies with killer clowns in it for the adults to enjoy. Whatever! Clowns should be banned! It was funny back in the old age when they were called jokers. They made the King laugh because he didn’t want to endure dealing with wars and diplomacy anymore. So he hired a clown (joker) to take out his misery. Damn kings.. couldn’t they just smoke up something and drink them selves silly than to hire a stupid idiot to dance around and sing like a jack ass.

I hate clowns!

Angry, Sleepy Post, Whatever!